TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AMONG CAMPUS STUDENTS

I remember what old school love felt like for me. Well, not really, but I felt it through my elder brother’s love letters.

These letters were split into two: the first section, where a lover poured out his heart on a fancy paper (if he really loved you, he would write two pages), and the ‘bigups’ section, where greetings and short love messages from his peers to the girls’ school. They spoke in song form; Westlife and Backstreet Boys symbolised the golden age—the more than sufficient expression of love.
I know that anyone who went to a school function looked forward to two things: making a new friend and getting a hug. A hug was simple and docile, but boys were seen as heroes if a girl gave you one.

Once you joined university, you studied and maintained focus. You had a vision: study, graduate and settle down. Sex was reserved for marriage and people were conservative. You had sex, got pregnant with the father of your children who was also your husband. That was the plan back then.

The younger Millennials (aged 23-27) and Generation Z (aged 22 and below) are doing everything differently. They start having sex as early as 10 years old and by the time they turn 25, one is lucky if they have only procured one abortion. They change partners like clothes: one for each day and each season.

University romance has been marked by capitalism and promiscuity. Ladies will only go out with a guy if he at least is financially stable and will spread the risk across by having a boyfriend for something: one for their hair and make-up, one for house rent, one for airtime and the other for shoes. Men are in a relationship with more than one woman and dates are like appointments. Now we all over social media with our opinions about sour love pointing fingers and asking one question, why?


This makes one wonder, what has changed? When did love become worse than a Romeo and Juliet play? What is the thin line between love and obsession?

When is love toxic? When did dating start feeling like ownership of property that can be burnt down or destroyed when it brings unexpected returns? Is this worrying trend a sign of mental illness?

With technology, human beings have taken interaction to another level, especially for a generation that uses their smartphones for 15.4 hours per week. These gadgets have made it easier for people to connect globally. It is also the den of so many secrets. Their lives are connected to these gadgets; they cannot think or work if a phone is taken from them. Some have installed passwords in every app be it WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter or even the gallery, causing rifts in so many relationships.

Most young couples break up because of suggestive texts or chats. Others cohabit and fight everyday when one discovers that he/she is not the only one. With an obsessive person, this could mean death.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Redefine Success Before It Breaks You

Image
Redefine Success Before It Breaks You By Gloria Valerie After navigating pressure, uncertainty, and financial strain, there comes a point where continuing without reflection becomes unsustainable. The idea of success that once seemed clear begins to feel less convincing, especially if pursuing it has led to stress, exhaustion, or a sense of disconnection from your own priorities. This is often where a shift in perspective becomes necessary, not as a form of giving up, but as a way of creating a more realistic and sustainable approach to growth. Success is frequently presented as a set of external markers, achievements that can be seen, measured, and compared. While these markers can be motivating, they do not always account for individual circumstances, values, or long-term well-being. Pursuing them without question can lead to a situation where progress is visible but not meaningful and milestones are reached but do not bring the sense of fulfillment that was expected. Redefining succ...
Read more

Money Will Always Stress You Out

Image
Money Will Always Stress You Out By Gloria Valerie Financial pressure has a way of turning uncertainty into something immediate and unavoidable. While it is possible to tolerate confusion about your career for a period of time, the presence of financial responsibilities forces you to confront that uncertainty in a more direct way. Expenses do not pause while you are figuring things out, and the expectation to support yourself, contribute to your environment, and maintain a certain standard of living creates a constant underlying tension. Managing money in your 20s is rarely as straightforward as it is often presented. Income can be inconsistent, especially in the early stages of a career or when pursuing opportunities that do not offer immediate stability. At the same time, expenses tend to increase, and there is often little room for error. Budgeting becomes less about optimizing finances and more about making difficult decisions, prioritizing certain needs over others, and occasional...
Read more

The 20s Pressure

Image
  The 20s Pressure  By Gloria Valerie There is a point in your 20s where life shifts from something you are exploring into something that feels like it is evaluating you. It is no longer just about trying things out or figuring out what you like, but about outcomes, progress, and whether you are moving fast enough to meet expectations that seem to come from every direction at once. Family expectations begin to carry more weight, especially when they are tied to sacrifice and hope, and suddenly, your choices feel like they represent more than just you. At the same time, your peers are moving at different speeds, and whether consciously or not, you start measuring yourself against them. Some seem to be progressing rapidly, landing jobs, building businesses, or reaching milestones that look impressive from the outside, while others appear just as uncertain as you feel, but less willing to admit it. And social media worsens this. It creates a constant stream of curated success sto...
Read more